I'm just not that comfortable being a bitch. They say women only go for assholes and respectively men are attracted to bitches, but this theory does not work out well for me. No, unfortunately I am consumed with guilt when I end up being nasty to my boyfriend even though truthfully there is this teeny tiny part of me that feels it is good for him. Is that wrong?
I'll tell you what's crazy though, is when I don't speak up for myself and I let the issue fester in a quagmire of resentment. Oh boy that's bad. Then I let it build and build and build, saying nothing the whole time, until I end up so upset I feel compelled to break up with him. All over a little matter that has snowballed in my mind. Because I didn't just say something in the first place. This is an old behavior that I somehow learned growing up and it has turned into a very destructive pattern. I wish speaking my mind just came naturally. It's why I secretly admire those women who are "bitches" in their relationships because they at least speak their mind. They let their boyfriends know what's what. So even though I think this problem of mine may partially be a low self esteem issue, I also think it is a cultural issue as well. I bet there are plenty of other women out there, at least of my generation, who were raised NOT to speak their minds. To be people pleasers, not rock the boat, never say no, and make your man happy. This behavior is just so destructive, not only to the women who keep their mouths shut but to the people they are in relationships with as well. All because we were taught to be good little girls. I'm hoping things are different for the generations of women that come after me but in the meantime I am going to have to make a concerted effort to not be a bitch exactly but at least speak up and say "Hey, it's 2 am I need you to come home!".
Plus it doesn't help that I'm still having my midlife crisis (see last two postings)so I am irritable and restless and discontent and often weepy. This is so NOT the time for him to be pushing my buttons. I think I do feel a solution brewing though. I already determined in the last posting that as much as I would like to, having a baby is not the solution. Instead I am going to make the big change of moving back to the other coast where the friends and lifestyle suit me better. I have been homesick for a long time. And of course this move means a change in career and boyfriend status as well. I never do things by half it seems, but I am excited, excited as I have not been in a long long time, and normally I am excited at this time of year. But this season I have somehow not been able to get into the Holiday spirit yet. Thus this posting on Holiday makeup may be coming a little late to those of you who like to keep on top of things. Hopefully though, there is still enough time for you to get prepared for the Holiday bustle and whirl because there sure are some pretty things out there right now. For example, you gotta try:
Dior Skinflash Primer. Wow this stuff is so beautiful! It is a nice lightweight, slightly pink tinged, luminous foundation primer that will not only fill in all your fine lines and pores, and make your foundation last longer, but it will give a lovely silky glow to your skin. I would even wear it alone without the foundation - it is that transformative. So even if you do not normally wear complexion correction makeup you will want to get skinflash just so you can have angelic looking, lustrous skin for those festive Holiday parties. It is also good all Winter long to beat that dull, dry, fatigued skin we get at this time of year.
Even if you don't normally wear red lipstick you gotta try some for the Holidays. What better time of year to do so? There are many many beautiful reds out there, form L'Oreal to Chantacaille, but try to stick to the rule of thumb that if you have pink tones in your skin go with a blue-based red (berry) and if you have olive or yellow toned skin go with a yellow based red (more orangey). And there is also the very elusive "true red" which is a neutral red that is universally flattering. However if in doubt try Trish McAvoy Gorgeous Red Gorgeous Lip Color. This shade will look good on many skin tones and is fairly sheer (but buildable) for the faint of heart. And as with all Trish McAcoy cosmetics, the quality is superb.
I am in love with the Nars 2009 Holiday Makeup Collection! Their colors this year are dead sexy. If you are planning to go out on the town this season you gotta invest in some Nars. There are red lips galore....metallic eye pencils like the champagne color Goddess or the black infused with gold Aigle Noir....eyeshadow duos in frosty neutrals (Taiga) or deep eggplants, pine, or wood (Brousse, Eurydice). Par-tay!
Also if you are going to alot of parties this season you will want to have a heavy duty concealer to hide the fact that you were up all night swinging from the chandeliers. There is no better concealer for the job than Make Up Forever HD Concealer. This moist,full coverage concealer gives bright, natural coverage and comes in a wide variety of shades. Everyone I know who's tried it absolutely loves the high definition look. It is the perfect hangover weapon for your post-party arsenal, and I actually use it all year long due to my hereditary dark circles.
More exquisite holiday makeup is the limited edition Tarte Treasure Chest. This make up palette includes matte eyeshadow, shimmer eyeshadow, face and cheek color, and lip color all for the phenomenal value of $52! You get loads of color and quality with this natural brand makeup and if you don't snag it for yourself this year at least consider buying it for someone else as it makes the perfect gift. If you are at all interested don't hesitate because I expect this will sell out fast. Oh yeah, the packaging is totally glam.
For Holiday glow go no further than Bare Escentuals Radiance Rocks, exclusive to Sephora. Not only do these illuminating balls come in pretty, easy to use packaging, but you can use them for anything from a light dusting on cheek to an all over shine that is worthy of a disco diva. To apply, just swirl the brush that comes with them over the trio of shimmery rocks (bronze, champagne, rose)for a blended color that flatters any skintone. Or for more intense shine pick up a rock and rub it directly on your skin. And for those of you who don't already know, Bare Escentuals is an 100% natural mineral makeup that is good for your skin, so not only can you look pretty but you can feel good about what you are doing for yourself as well.
Even though I may not speak up enough in my relationship, I certainly feel confident giving a shout out for these fantabulous Holiday shimmers, sparkles, colors, and creams. Follow my links for a little something to bring on the seasonal cheer.